What’s the effect of the people in your life on you?
I just spent a few days with innovators from every area of life, genomics to breakdancing. My mind was stretched, my ideas churned, and my soul fed.
I feel connected, alive, and optimistic, and unafraid. How do I keep this feeling?
Let’s call the qualities I’m feeling ‘inspiration.’ It’s not about just being inspired by something. A good book or viral video can accomplish that. It’s about being, really being, an embodiment of inspiration (or, any other quality)–taking that quality and making it part of my baseline vibration; part of my core personality; part of “me.”
Can you change your core? Yes. Genes are completely modifiable, as is their expression. (The science on this is amazing but that’s another topic)
The people in your life determine which sides of yourself you express. We’re relational beings, yes. But even deeper than that is the Ayurvedic understanding of what all life coaches will tell you: You become who you spend time with. Literally, just like ‘you are what you eat.’
If you have a friend that is obese, you are 50% more likely to be obese. The studies on social impact are similar for other diseases, but also for measures of health and success.
The reason I felt connected, alive, and optimistic, and unafraid is because I spent three days immersed with people that embodied these very qualities. Or rather, I chose people with these qualities to immerse with.
Despite the average IQ, there were folks whose culture of connecting is through complaining (opposite inspiration)…that woman in the bathroom complaining about how cold the conference center is; the man at the tea station complaining about how long the lines are; the chic that knew everyone famous complaining about how the event used to be so much better. And on and on.
Because I was so clear on what I wanted to feel at the event, it was easy to steer clear of all that didn’t match.
At the event, I ran into 2 old friends from decades past. One matched the feeling of inspiration, but the other filled me with drama-dread. I couldn’t believe it myself when I refused her offer to “catch up” and didn’t even give her an excuse. Yes, I literally said “no thanks” and was shaking afterwards. And then SO relieved. She’s lovely, and I’m sure there are many who enjoy her company. But, that’s all irrelevant.
Curating the people in your life is not about being judgmental or elitist or exclusionary.
If I was able to feel the qualities I wanted to feel in life in her company, I’d choose it again. We’re always shifting, so she and I may be a better match in another time.
In fact, a lot of the people in our lives we won’t change any time soon. But, we can choose how much time we spend with them, and how much we engage.
So, it’s not about her. It’s about how I want feel right now and who best supports that.
How do you want to feel right now and who best supports that? Share with me! (I love hearing your comments.)
Choose your peops like you do your produce, Siva