Reaching for something

I open up my social media and instantly feel like I need to do more x, y, or z.
Content marketing, FB ads, blah, blah.

It all ends up with me in a container feeling like I”m not something or somewhere I should be.

The only reason I’m triggered like that is because I feel that way on the inside. This is my self perception – I’m not good enough. Hmmm, revealing.

Yes, I want to make more money. I want to work less. I want to travel more. I want to impact people’s lives in a positive way – and even that is for my own validation and self worth.

And there are all the ways I think of HOW to do the above, from TED talks to a podcast, to affiliate marketing. But I don’t feel joyous and light about any of that. It feels overwhelming. So, that can’t be the way – for now.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, I wanted to share the deep relief I had when I realized I only need to focus on feeling happy. I don’t need to be reaching and striving to get somewhere.

I can be feeling damn good, and opportunities come my way. My book publishers found me. I didn’t submit a proposal. Teaching gigs have always been through organic networks, not me pushing. Why don’t I trust this? Well, probably because I’ve been raised in the goal-oriented perspective of modern times.

Back to the relief. I’m gonna just wrap my sage, water my tulsi, grow some gotu kola for homemade saag paneer, gaze at the moon, oil my kids, and soak in good inspiration. Oh, and dance. In other words, I’m gonna do the things that I enjoy and give me that deep feel good.

Everything blossoms from there.

I’m not giving up my dreams of grandeur. I’m just going to try an approach that feels good, instead of the approach that feels like a strain. Don’t get me wrong, I like a challenge, and my pitta predominance keeps me striving for what feels optimal at that time. But I’m choosing the little challenges that feel exciting first – shoot, I’ve never grown Gotu Kola before.

At some point, perhaps the TED talk will be something that is exciting and feels fun to go after. That will be the time for it.

In other words, follow your bliss. I know, you saw this embroidered on your therapist’s throw pillow. But for real, our emotional bodies are guiding us.

And if we don’t listen, we stay on paths that our minds are determining. But our minds are meant for reasoning and solving and implementing. Not for plugging into the Universal energetics that are always showing us the way. If I listened to my mind, I would be choosing a rigorous path of competing with successful holistic healers. I’d be stalking Dr. Oz. That path may be exciting to some, or to me one day, but it’s not now. And that’s important information from my feeling body.

Ultimately, I want all the things and experiences I want to feel good. So, if we simply do the little things that feel good – from playing with makeup to writing posts – we’ve accomplished that. Just in a different way.

Also, this approach makes us a vibrational match for the other desires that we think are going to give us that feel good state. The truth is I already impact positively – I hear this often from clients and students. I had five trips abroad so far this year. I work less than your average single mom, and with complete control of my schedule. My point is, I already have a lot of what I’m seeking and while it feels so good, I’m craving more. Clearly, achieving what I wanted wasn’t enough to make me feel how I thought it would.

But sipping my chai in beautiful nature – that does the trick every time. In Ayurveda, we bring in the qualities that are opposite to balance. The little obtainable things that give me joy, and “enoughness” are what I’m going to bring in more of to balance the “not-enoughness” that drives that “reaching for something.”

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